Publish Post
This awesome accessory means that one of my favorite things is happening on the Square.
Yes, it means it is RaiNiNg....rAiN DrOpS are FaLliNg!! And the forecast for the week calls for more rAiN DrOps FaLliNg all over ArKaNsaS until Saturday. PaR TaY for Rain lovers and Eeyores everywhere!
This picture is just right outside our front door. Isn't it the best? This is the perfect ending for not such a perfect day...but I have rejoiced and been glad in it anyway. Let me explain... Eight years ago today I had a saddled pulmonary embolism and was alone at home waiting on a friend to take me to the doctor. I had been to the ER the night before and they sent me home. I begged Cubby not to let them send me home because I felt like I was dying. I ended up having to go home anyway and was told to see my doctor the following morning. While I was waiting, I stayed in bed until it was time to get dressed. As I stood up, I couldn't breathe and began passing out if standing. I crawled to the other side of the house to get clothes and passed out 3 times along the way. The final time, my dog Gracie saved me. She did the unthinkable...and was licking me on the face and mouth. She knew this wasn't allowed and freaked me out, but it caused me to regain consciousness again. I crawled with my head and body as flat as possible to the floor. I had to get to a phone and it was in the back bedroom...yeah, where was my iPhone then? Where was my App for that? I had to stand up to reach the phone and as I dialed 911 everything went black and I fell on the bed. Being flat again, I was aware of what was happening. I immediately heard the sirens of the ambulance and fire department. I knew help was on the way. I prayed that God would not take me on that day because Katie was only just 2 weeks short of being 12. I knew I had to be here for her and I knew God was in control.
The paramedics had to peel my garage door up like a sardine can to get in the house. I felt embarrassed that they had to come get me and that the sirens went all through the neighborhood. I kept telling them that I was sorry. The paramedic that was working on me said the funniest thing...he asked why I was sorry, that it was like apologizing to the pizza delivery guy for delivering your pizza. I was having a terrible time trying to breathe. He put this huge oxygen mask on me and I could tell he was worried. When we arrived at the ER, there was a doctor there that was there the night before and I had noticed that he had been watching me from the other side of the ER that evening. He immediately recognized me and told them to put me on the elevator to go for a CatScan because I had a blood clot. I was saying...oh no, that can't be it. For 6 months, this clot had been forming and no one could figure out what was wrong with me. Tiny clots had been passing from my legs to my lungs the entire time. Any one of them could have been fatal.
I came back from the CatScan and every specialist you can imagine was standing around my bed looking very serious. I was thinking...ok, now I have your attention and someone was going to tell me what was wrong with me and my peace of mind would be back in place. They told me alright and also said they did not know how I was conscious or even alive at this point. The clot was huge and was laying over both lungs and blocking the blood flow to my heart. First thought that ran through my mind was...gee, I could be in the morgue with a toe tag by mid afternoon. (I find humor in most things...I was also glad that my toe nails were freshly painted from the pedicure I had gotten 2 days before and that the toe tag would at least accessorize a lovely toe)...I was still calm and knew God was in total control, so I snapped out of that crazy thought and asked the doctors what they were going to do.
They quicky gathered a few more doctors and said they were going to give me a clot buster. What I didn't know was that they were 100% sure that part of the clot would break away and send me into cardiac arrest and that it would be fatal. I hurried them along because it was taking forever....just give me the shot already. They were not working on the same level as the ultimate physician and ultimate healer that I knew was surrounding me. I felt my parents presence around me as well...they had both already gone to be with the Lord.
They finally gave me the shot through an IV and stared at me for what seemed like forever. I asked them what they were looking at and if there was a problem. I was still calm and I was so excited that the doctors finally believed and knew that I was really sick. I can't tell you how many times I was sent home when I knew something was very wrong....especially the night before. The clot buster caused no problems and they took me to ICU where I stayed for a week before I was transferred to a regular room for an additional 2 weeks. All of the doctors in the ER came by to see me one at a time and were in disbelief of my situation.
As I have grown in my relationship with Christ over the past eight years, I realized that God gave me a miracle that day. As I have gone over every detail of the events leading up to 9/14/01...I have realized that God has a huge purpose for me. He has taught me so many lessons through so many trials in my life. I am at peace with this. I have now reached the part of my life where things are about to change and my purpose, mission and vision for Him will be unveiled (at least what I need to see for now)...He has been preparing me for this crossroads in my life for 45 years...I don't know what it is yet, but my heart is convicted and I hear Him. I wait patiently, but with great expectation. It is coming and I couldn't be more ready.
My true mission and purpose for this life He gave me started Sept. 14, 2001, just 3 days after the 9/11 attacks. I watched television from the hospital almost 24/7 and I was heartbroken, but thanked Him for my miracle. I prayed for the loss of life and the families affected by 9/11 and had a deep connection with the loss since my situation should have been fatal except for the miracle I was given.
I started a new Bible Study tonight with my small group. Beth Moore's "Breaking Free"...I couldn't think of a more perfect time or perfect day to start this study. I've left my old job behind (since it went bankrupt and all)...I'm waiting in great expectation for what God has prepared me for....and this eight year anniversary of God's Miracle has so much more meaning this year. I'm telling you...something big is on the horizon.
So this not so perfect day turned out okay...after Bible Study, I came home and checked on Cubby...he has been really sick for several days...I was able to talk to the doctor at length on the phone and have decided that we need to be a little more proactive for answers. Remembering what happened to me made me think that I have to trust God in this situation and get the answers we need in order for him to be healed.
I had to go to WalMart after 10p, because we were out of everything. I generally can not stand to go to the store, but tonight I realized it was just me and the stockers in the store. It was actually a calming experience...and for once, I did not have to abandon my groceries and make a run for the ladies room. Normally this would be unspoken, but it has become a joke in my family...every single time I get to the back of WalMart or Target I have to make a run for it. IBS is not my friend. (Sorry to be graphic...but my family has convinced me that this is hysterically funny). I was able to shop, get back home, put the groceries away and not even break a sweat or feel the least bit aggravated by dodging baskets coming at me from all sides.
Once home, I heard my RaiN DrOpS and just smiled. I so love the rAiN! It's soothing to my soul. It just cleanses everything and makes it beautiful. I felt a blessing with the rAiN as I remembered God's gift of the miracle He gave to me 8 years ago today.
One final note..off the subject...you must remember from previous posts that I flip subjects in mid sentence, but I always eventually get to the point. Enough of the sentimental stuff for a moment...(Only on special occasions will I write something on our blog that is more serious in nature...today was one of those days...thanks for indulging me.)...So we all know by now that the Bears lost to the packers last night...bad enough...but I was awakened this morning with the news that Brian Urlacher was in surgery for his wrist and he would be out for the season. This was one of the low points in the day. Why...Why...Why...not Urlacher...but I keep repeating...."God is Good all the time...All the time God is Good!" So, I'm sleeping in my Urlacher Jersey until he returns to the field...he is not going to be out all season.
And remember...RaiN calls for AcCesSoRiZiNg!!! I love you Tallee, you little Tigger.
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